You've Got Mail

This blog is all about jokes and random thoughts. Don't look for deep insight or thoughts on current events..This is just to make me and my friends laugh and hopefully a few others as well.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Nuclear radiation test for the home

This is sooo wrong but I had to send it.

If you are at all concerned about radiation fallout from Japan's Fukushima reactor, here is a readily available, innovative and inexpensive radiation tester you can use anywhere in your home.

1. Open a bag of Orville Redenbacher microwave popcorn.

2. Leave it on a table and if it starts popping, you're screwed.

posted by Thundar # 12:14 AM 0 Comments

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

My Cat

It just hit me:

My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him.

He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the doctor once a year for his check-up, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

For all this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up for him.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me:

My Cat is a politician!

posted by Thundar # 12:35 AM 0 Comments

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

President's Day

I was eating lunch today with my 12 year old grandson
When his mom asked him, "What is tomorrow?"

He said "It's President's Day"

......She asked "What does that mean?" I was waiting for
Something profound.

He said "President's Day is when Obama steps out of
The White House and if he sees his shadow, we have
2 more years of unemployment."

I almost snorted my iced tea!

posted by Thundar # 8:05 PM 0 Comments

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Muslim Brotherhood

This morning the Muslim Brotherhood warned the United States that if United States meddling in Egypt continued they intend to cut off America's supply of 7-11 and Motel 6 managers.

If this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell, AT&T and AOL customer service reps.

Finally, if all else fails,... They have threatened not to send us any more presidents either.

posted by Thundar # 8:22 PM 0 Comments

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The Mother of all Jihadist jokes

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe, chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk.

The older of the two pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.

''This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.''

''Yes, I remember him as a baby'' says the other mother cheerfully.

"He's a martyr now though" the mother confides.

"Oh, so sad dear'' says the other.

''And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21.''

''Oh, I remember him,'' says the other happily,
''he had such curly hair when he was born.''

''He's a martyr too'' says the mother quietly.

''Oh, gracious me . . . '' says the other.

''And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed.
He would have been 18'', she whispers.

''He's a martyr also,'' says the mother, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and, searching for the right words, says . . .

"They blow up so fast, don't they?"

posted by Thundar # 5:34 PM 0 Comments

Monday, January 31, 2011

The Latest Christmas Toy

A last minute Christmas toy my daughter
Received -- a talking Muslim doll.

Nobody knows what the hell it says cause
No one's got the balls to pull the cord!

posted by Thundar # 10:27 PM 0 Comments

Saturday, July 31, 2010

"Charades"

The world's greatest charade player brags that he can
Guess any charade. A TV producer decides to use the
Charade player in a TV special. He issues a challenge
Offering the charade player a million dollars to guess
A very hard charade on television.

The charade player agrees. Comes the big night, all
The world is watching. The charade player is sitting on
Stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the curtain
Opens to reveal seven nude young women.

The second and fourth ladies are holding their breasts,
While the other five have their backs to him and are
Baring their behinds.

The charade player barely glances over them and says,
"The William Tell Overture by Rossini."

The flabbergasted producer says in awe, "You have
Done it! That's the correct answer. You are indeed the
Greatest charade player!" and he hands him a check
For a million bucks.

Walking out, a reporter stops the charade player and
Ask him how he did it."

It is really simple," says the charade player. "One look
At the positions of the seven women, and I realized it
As the William Tell Overture." "Rump titty rump
T/TTY rump rump rump."

posted by Thundar # 12:11 AM 0 Comments