You've Got Mail
This blog is all about jokes and random thoughts. Don't look for deep insight or thoughts on current events..This is just to make me and my friends laugh and hopefully a few others as well.Saturday, March 18, 2006
| "Grandma's Boyfriend" A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?" Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?" The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend." | |||
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Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Three Little Pigs
| Once upon a time, there were 3 little pigs. The straw pig, the stick pig and the brick pig. One day this nasty old wolf came up to the straw pigs house and said, "I'm gonna huff, and puff and blow your house down." And he did! So the straw pig went running over to the stick pig's house and said "Let me in, please, the wolf just blew down my house!!" Then the wolf showed up and said, "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down!" The wolf caught up with them and said "I'm gonna huff and puff and blow your house down." A few minutes passed and all of a sudden this big, black stretch limo drove up. Out came two massive pigs in pin striped suits and fedoras. These huge pigs came over to the wolf and grabbed him by the neck and beat the living shit out of him. Then, one of them pulled out a gun and fired into the wolf's mouth. Then they left the wolf dead, got back into their limo and drove off. The straw pig and the stick pig were amazed!!! They asked the brick pig, "Who the hell were those guys?" | |||
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Dolls
| A guy goes in an adult book store and asks for an inflatable doll. Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?" Customer says, "Female." Counter guy asks, "Black or white?" Customer says, "White." Counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?" Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?" Counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up." | |||
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