You've Got Mail
This blog is all about jokes and random thoughts. Don't look for deep insight or thoughts on current events..This is just to make me and my friends laugh and hopefully a few others as well.Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Fw: hurricane names
| Well, it appears our African-American friends have found yet something else to be pissed about. A black congresswoman reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in language that street people can understand. I can hear it now: A weatherman in Bitch be a category fo'! So grab yo' chirren, yo' Ho, leave yo crib, and head fo' de nearest guv'ment office fo yo FREE shit!" | |||
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Tuesday, September 05, 2006
In The Name Of Patriotism
| We all know that it is a sin for an Islamic male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does. So next Sunday at 4:00 PM Eastern time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not terrorists, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women. And since the Koran also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti terrorist sentiment. The American Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti terrorist activity. G~d bless America and G~d Bless American Women! IT IS YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY TO PASS THIS ON!!! __,_._,___ | |||
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THE STUTTERING KITTY
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says. A little girl in the back of the room raises her hand. "I had a kitty cat that stuttered", she said. The teacher knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. Well she began, I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler who lives next door jumped over the fence into our yard ! That must have been scary, said they teacher. It sure was, said the little girl, my kitty went Fffff, Fffff, Fffff.... and before he could say Fuck, the rottweiler ate him !! | |||
Saturday, September 02, 2006
| Little Kevin was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up: fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. Kevin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offers really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money." The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring and took little Kevin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?" No," said Kevin, "He plays for the Yankees, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids." | |||
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