You've Got Mail

This blog is all about jokes and random thoughts. Don't look for deep insight or thoughts on current events..This is just to make me and my friends laugh and hopefully a few others as well.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

 

Three Young Boys

 Barack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.


The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disneyland ' Barack said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One.'

 

The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes.' Barack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them!'

 

The third kid said, 'I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!' Barack was a little perplexed by this and said, 'But you don't look like you're handicapped.'

 

The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning.'


Tuesday, February 09, 2010

 

Cough Syrup

  

Cough Syrup..........

A Pharmacist walks into his store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.

The Pharmacist asks the Newfie clerk:
"What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The Newfie clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get
something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of Laxative."

The pharmacist yells:

"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"

The Newfie clerk responds

 Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid to cough".

 

 

 

Monday, February 01, 2010

 

Apple announcement

   

    Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.

    The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.

    This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.


 

Gonorrhea Lectim

 
 
 
This is both funny and sad.  Funny because of the name of this "disease"; sad because it's true!


The United States Center for Contagious Disease Control has issued a level 1 warning about a new virulent strain that has been quickly spreading. The disease is contracted through dangerously high-risk behavior.
 
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim, and is pronounced "gonna re-elect them."
Research has confirmed that most victims contracted this dangerous and destructive disease after having been screwed in November 2008.
 
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how destructive this disease has become and have further learned that it is easily cured....by simply voting out all incumbents!
 
In spite of the perils, Pelosi, Reid and Obama are working in secret legislation to place Gonorrhea Lectim on the endangered species list to assure its survival.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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