You've Got Mail

This blog is all about jokes and random thoughts. Don't look for deep insight or thoughts on current events..This is just to make me and my friends laugh and hopefully a few others as well.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

 

Service?

 
I became confused when I heard these terms
With reference to the word 'service'.

Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'service' meant. But
Today, I overheard two farmers talking, and
One of them said he had hired a bull to
'service' a few cows.
 
BAM!!! It all came into focus.

Now I understand what all those 'service'
Agencies are doing to us.

Now you are as enlightened as I am.
FREE Animations for your email - by IncrediMail! Click Here!

Thursday, January 08, 2009

 

Flat Tire

Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate.
 
 So I ease my car over to the shoulder of the road,carefully, get out of the
Car and open the trunk.  I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood
Them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic.
 
 They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe it!  They are in trench coats
Exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers..
 
 To my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men. And of
Course, traffic starts backing up.  Everybody is tooting their horns and
Waving like crazy.       
 
 It wasn't long before a state trooper pulls up behind me.  He gets out of
His car and starts walking toward me.  I could tell he was not a happy
Camper!
 
"What's going on here?"

"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.
 
"Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the
Road?"             
 
I couldn't believe that he didn't know.
 
So I told him, "Hellooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"
 
 
 
She must have been a blond

FREE Animations for your email - by IncrediMail! Click Here!

Thursday, January 01, 2009

 

November 4th, 2008



It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named
Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said
'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand
Up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

'Very good!'

Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not
Perish from the Earth?'

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said
Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed.
Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than
You do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'Screw the Indians,'
'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up.
'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'
The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?'
Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister,
1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'
Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the
Teacher, 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say
Anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson
To the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.'

The teacher fainted.
And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh
Shit, we're screwed!'

And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was the American people,
November 4th, 2008".
 
FREE Animations for your email - by IncrediMail! Click Here!

Archives

February 2006   March 2006   April 2006   May 2006   June 2006   July 2006   August 2006   September 2006   October 2006   November 2006   January 2007   March 2007   April 2007   May 2007   June 2007   July 2007   August 2007   September 2007   November 2007   January 2008   February 2008   March 2008   April 2008   May 2008   June 2008   July 2008   August 2008   September 2008   October 2008   November 2008   December 2008   January 2009   February 2009   March 2009   April 2009   June 2009   July 2009   August 2009   November 2009   December 2009   January 2010   February 2010   May 2010   July 2010   January 2011   February 2011   March 2011   April 2011  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]