You've Got Mail
This blog is all about jokes and random thoughts. Don't look for deep insight or thoughts on current events..This is just to make me and my friends laugh and hopefully a few others as well.Saturday, June 28, 2008
Fw: Think about this.....
| FACTS TO PONDER: (A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000 (B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000 (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 17.14% chance that you will become a statistic. Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services. Now think about this: (A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000 (Yes, that's 80 million..) (B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500. (C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.000188 Statistics courtesy of the FBI So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.' FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR. Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!! Out of concern for the public at large, we have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention! | ||
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Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Math over the years
| 1. Teaching Math In 1950 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Math In 1960 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 3. Teaching Math In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit? 4. Teaching Math In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. 5. Teaching Math In 1990 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of Animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of This way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.) 6. Teaching Math In 2007 Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. | |||
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Sunday, June 22, 2008
Its in the Name
| A woman approached me at a party this past weekend. | ||
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Friday, June 20, 2008
"Job Offer"
| A young man goes into the Job Center in Worcester MA, and sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist' Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more, "Can You give me some more details about this?" he asks The guy behind the desk. The Job Centre man sorts through his files & replies - "Oh yes here it is: The job entails you getting the lady Patients ready for the gynecologist. You have to help Them out of their underwear, lie them down and Carefully wash their genital regions. You then apply Shaving foam and gently shave off all their pubic hair Then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the Gynecologist's' examination. There's an annual salary of $45,000, but you're going To have to go to Providence RI. That's about 100 miles From here." "Oh why, is that where the job's at?" "No sir - that's where the end of the line is!" | |||
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Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Interesting...
| OPEC sells oil for $136.00 a barrel OPEC nations buy U.S. Grain for $7.00 a bushel Solution: Sell grain for $136.00 a bushel Can't buy it? Tough! Eat your oil! Ought to go well with a nice thick grilled filet of camel!!! | ||
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