You've Got Mail

This blog is all about jokes and random thoughts. Don't look for deep insight or thoughts on current events..This is just to make me and my friends laugh and hopefully a few others as well.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Mowing and Beer

Last Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my
lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my

girlfriend mow the lawn.

The neighbor lady from across the street was
so outraged that she came over and shouted at me,
"You should be hung!"

I took a drink from my can of Busch Light, wiped
the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray
Ban sunglasses and stared directly into the eyes

of this nosy ass neighbor and then calmly
replied,

" I am. That's why she cuts the grass."

posted by Thundar # 11:40 PM 0 Comments

Monday, May 14, 2007

COWS, GOLF AND A WIFE

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple
bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally the doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a
difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture.

We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one
of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over,
lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf
ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of
the cow's butt. Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey,
this looks like yours'"

"I don't remember much after that..."

posted by Thundar # 5:06 PM 0 Comments

Monday, May 07, 2007

BLONDE GENIES

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.

The next thing the guy knows he's in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. Over the next few days he makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house. Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills. Then, there's a knock at the door. He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead.

As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde genies. One blonde genie says to the other one," I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But, why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me!"

posted by Thundar # 8:58 PM 1 Comments

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Apple Announcement

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed
a computer chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.

The iBOOB will cost between $499 and $599.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because
women are always

complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

posted by Thundar # 7:58 PM 0 Comments