You've Got Mail

 

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma
a question if they aren't prepared for the answer: In
a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
woman to the stand. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly,
you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you
cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and
talk about them behind their backs. You think you're
a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you
never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to
do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.
Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and
he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal
relationship with anyone and his law practice is one
of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different women.
One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the
bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of
you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you
both to the electric chair."