You've Got Mail

This blog is all about jokes and random thoughts. Don't look for deep insight or thoughts on current events..This is just to make me and my friends laugh and hopefully a few others as well.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

 
Like I always say...
Never Argue with a Woman
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
 
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
 
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

 

Home Depot Scam Warning

 

A `heads up' for you and any friends you have who may be regular Home
Depot
customers.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out
shopping.
Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic.

Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as
you
are packing your shopping in the trunk. They both start wiping your
windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out
of
their skimpy tee shirts. It is impossible not to look.


When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No'  and instead ask
you for a ride to another Home Depot.

You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having
se x
with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and
performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, three
times
just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.







Saturday, June 03, 2006

 

WIN WIN SOLUTION

 
 
Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border. Take the dirt, raise the
levies
in New Orleans, and put the Florida alligators in the moat. 

Are there any other problems you would like for me to solve?


 

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